One might think when considering to forgive someone, it is for the benefit of the other person. This is, in fact, not always the case. Sure, the other person will hopefully see, feel and receive the benefits of your forgiveness, but the reality is the other person might not even want or think they need to be forgiven for anything. However, this single act can change how you show up in every relationship, including the most important one, the one with yourself.

Have you ever held onto a hurt so tight that it literally consumes your every thought? You replay the scenario repeatedly, not being able to understand how this happened or how someone could possibly do said act or hurt you in this way. We all have, and it’s a dangerous place to stay and has the power to hinder, derail and steal your joy for life.

I think the first thing to recognize is that we all show up at different ages, stages, and emotional maturities in life. The journey of learning and evolving is not cut and dry. The paths people travel, more often than not, are very different. You might have experienced different traumas, loss, and grief, achieved career highs and lows, traveled the world, or never left your home town. The point is there are so many different elements of life that shape who you are and how you see the world. The hope is that we continue to learn, do better, and evolve as we go, but that doesn’t happen without the good, the bad, and the mundane moments that lend us the opportunities to do so. Whether we want them or not.

So, when holding on to things that are festering and harming you to your core, you have a choice. You can let the experience or person continue to have this hold over you and your well-being, or you can honor that we are all on this earth learning, growing, and making mistakes along the way. Honor them and yourself for showing up the best way you each knew how in that moment, and choose to accept this as another moment to grow. Hope this leaves you in a place of peace, knowing that you have the power to heal and move on all on your own. No one else gets to take away your power, joy, or love for life, so don’t you dare forget that. Give yourself love, grace, and compassion. Then let that shit go.